Choral Satire • Running Time: 60 mins
Written and directed by Juliet Jenkin | Starring Wynand Ferreira, Alice De Beer, Alicia McCormick, Kaylee McIlroy, Francesco Nassimbeni, Tazmé Pillay & Johann Vermaak.

Lee-Anne wants to go shopping, Jason wants to be American, and Emily just wants to get married! But why can’t Karen sleep at night? And what is that noise outside?

There’s something out there. There’s a shadow in the garden, a shape at the bottom of the swimming pool, a breathing at the top of the stairs, and a face, a face, a face in the mirror.  

Award-winning playwright, Juliet Jenkin (The Boy Who Fell from the Roof) presents Woolworths, a dark, mesmerising, and hilarious satire on middle-class South Africa. Charging through trellidoors, security estates, rhino charities, gold mines, shopping malls, rugby stadiums, game farms and bank queues, this epic choral work is a force of culture.

‘A combination of totally unexpected, original and brilliant.’ - The Weekend Special




Juliet Jenkin’s plays include the award-winning Afro-Gothic fantasy More South African Deep Freezing, co-written with Frances Slaboleszy, about a pair of vampiric time-travelling tuckshop ladies; the historical-ish biopic, Mary and the Conqueror, on the life and works of novelist Mary Renault; the dark fable Big Girl, on a giant woman on the run from the law; and everyone’s favourite high-school coming-out dramedy, The Boy Who Fell From The Roof.  

Her career highlights include playing a very deranged Grumio in The Taming of The Shrew at Maynardville, working as the literary consultant for the Artscape’s New Writing Programme, writing a weekly radio drama series for SAfm, and teaching at UCT. 

Juliet is currently a PhD candidate at the Centre for Theatre, Dance and Performance Studies at UCT. 

Alice De Beer is an up-and-coming performer and theatre-maker, and a recent Theatre and Performance graduate from UCT’s Centre for Theatre, Dance and Performance Studies.

Her graduating show Sidewalks was an all-singing, all-dancing, post-modern Queer Cabaret on love, loss and being fabulous.  

Alicia McCormick is the straight-laced alter ego of Burlesque sensation Cookie von Tastee. A diverse performer, Alicia has been seen in Tara Notcutt’s all-female version of The Taming of the Shrew playing, Neil LaBute’s bash (also directed by Tara Notcutt) the comedy MATE directed by Sam Gray, as well as the bootscootin' cowboy cabaret Angels on Horse back: Reloaded, directed by Fiona du Plooy. Other credits include the cult hit and Ovation Award-winning sketch comedy Dirty Words directed by Jason Potgieter, The Things You Left behind directed by Kim Kerfoot, which won a Silver Ovation award at the NAF in 2014, as well as the comedies An Absolute Turkey, directed by Chris Weare, Hitched directed by Paul Tosio, and of course, more children's theatre than you can shake a stick at. 

Kaylee McIlroy is an up-and-coming actor, and a recent Theatre and Performance graduate from UCT’s Centre for Theatre, Dance and Performance Studies. 

Her recent performances include The Fool in Lear’s Daughters directed by Clare Stopford and Phaedra in Phaedra’s Love directed by Roxanne De Freitas.  

Francesco Nassimbeni is a theatre-director, writer, actor and designer.

Among other works, including Everything is Boring, Poetry for Dragons, and the sleeper hit, Clan, Francesco is the director of "YOU SUCK: And Other Inescapable Truths" featuring comedy star Klara Van Wyk (Mail and Guardian 10 People to Watch in 2018.) A Standard Bank Ovation Award Winner and Fleur du Cap nominee, the show has its Afrikaans debut at the Klein Karoo Kunstefees in April 2018.

Francesco completed a Masters in Theatre-Making at the University of Cape Town in 2017, and is a lecturer in AFDA’s Acting Department. 

Tazmé Pillay is a Durban-born actor and performance artist. As an artist, Tazmé hopes to redefine the emphasis on patriarchal masculinity in the theatre, and eradicate the ideal of the heteronormative actor. Advocating that the yardstick for roles be shifted, he promotes the visibility of queer masculinities on stage. Naturally resenting convention, he is constantly motivated to push the boundaries of his craft. He has appeared in Steven Berkoff’s Agamemnon and Michel Bouchard’s Lilies, both directed by Geoff Hyland playing the Queen Clytemnestra and Michel Marc Bouchard's Lilies. Tazmé appeared in the Standard Bank Ovation Award winning Out of Bounds and was most recently seen in Kei garnered him a Best Actor nomination in the 2016 BroadwayWorld.com Awards, and he was most recently seen in Kei-Ella Loewe’s high-flying comedy Winging It! 

Johann Vermaak is an actor, director and puppeteer. 

He has appeared in numerous theatre productions, highlights include the theatrical debut of Cry, the Beloved Country; Bacchus in die Boland and the 2011 production of Taming of the Shrew at Maynardville. He was a puppeteer and director for the International Emmy nominated Puppet Nation ZA News, and has received three SAFTA nominations for this production. These include (along with his fellow puppeteers) a nomination for Best Supporting Actor in a TV Comedy (along with his fellow puppeteers) and two nominations for Best Achievement in Directing. In 2017 and 2018 he won the SAFTA for Best Achievement in Directing for a TV Comedy. He recently starred in the multi-award winning short film It's Complicated directed by Grant de Sousa, and the Gerhard Pretorius’ comedy-short Swaaibraai for the KykNet Silwerskermfees.    

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Prefer to speak to a human? You can book by telephone on 021.300.1652. We might have to call you back if the bar is very busy.
Under 18s must be accompanied by a parent or guardian, or by an adult with consent from a parent or guardian.
Seating is unreserved. All the seats are good seats but please arrive in good time to make sure you can sit together.
Also we unfortunately don’t have any wheelchair access to our theatre. There is 1 flight of steps.